Though I had studied in a co-education institution and later worked in a multinational company, I had not fallen in love with any girl. When I turned twenty seven without a bride in the offing, it was my mother’s lot to find me a better-half . She hit the matrimonial sites in earnest and both of us combed through the numerous girls’ bio-data given there to find me a spouse.
“Did I want a working girl?”
Did I want a tall/short/thin/fat girl?”
“Should the bride be fair skinned/ medium complexioned/ dark?”
So many questions. So many options.
When we had selected the girls whom we thought were promising, we called up the telephone numbers given in their column and talked to them. If things moved from there , we were invited to meet the girl and her family.
I don’t know about the others, but in my case, the two alliances we followed up did not work out. They just taught me a lesson on the psychology of girls.
Now that I am happily married, I find those two episodes very comical and can laugh about it to my lovely understanding wife.
The first girl I went to see was described to me by her mother as being “soft spoken, gentle and home loving.”
I asked permission to talk to her privately. We were both left to conduct a conversation and decide for ourselves if we were compatible.
As soon as we were alone the girl said:
“I am not anything like the person my mother described to you. I am very MODERN in my attitude.”
“In what way?” I asked taken aback by her forth-rightness.
“I will not wear a burqa (a long, loose garment covering the whole body from head to feet, worn in public by Muslim women as a sign of modesty)
Pointing to my old homely mother I said, “My mother does not wear a burqa. Does that make her modern?
She blinked “I did not mean it, in that way,” she said but failed to elucidate in what way she was MODERN.
We talked for sometime. From her reluctance to open up, I knew that she was not interested in marrying me.
When it was time to leave, I put out my hand to her for a hand shake. She balked a moved back, like a docile Indian girl.
I teased her. “Why are you not shaking hands with me. You said you were very ‘MODERN’ right?
I did not draw away my hand and she had to shake it, although reluctantly. Anyway, that alliance did not come through.
The second girl on my list had a friendly father and soon we both were chatting like good friends. Matters moved at a brisk pace and he and his wife visited our house and we were invited to theirs.
On the first visit, they did not allow me to talk privately with the girl by quoting a religious reason.
I was not happy to proceed further with out talking with her and knowing her wishes.
Few days later, we were invited to their house for lunch. This time I found an opportunity to talk to her alone in her balcony and I asked her, “Looks like our parents are ready to fix the wedding date. Are you happy with it?”
“No.” She replied.
“No . I don’t want to marry you. I am in love with another person. My parents are against that boy and are trying to fix my wedding with you”
“Why are they against him?”
“Because he is a car-mechanic and not from our caste or social standing. Also he does not have a educational qualification. But I feel that LOVE is above all these things.”
I totally agreed with her that love matters most in any marriage.
“Have you known the boy for a long time ?” I questioned her.
“You are joking right?” I ventured.
At this , her face contorted in anger and she said rudely, “Hey Man. Are you an idiot? I am talking so seriously about my lover and you think that I am joking? Have you never been in love before?”
I replied in the negative.
“Then you are a Deva (God),” she said and walked away to her room.
I started shaking with anger. I wanted to leave immediately but I did not want to create a scene in the girl’s house. But her parents were leading me to the lunch table and I got no opportunity to tell my mother anything
Luckily at that time my phone rang. It was only a service call from my phone company but I pretended that it was from my office and they were calling me on a matter of utmost urgency.
“A beam crashed down? OMG! Hope no one got hurt. Yes. Yes. I am coming immediately.” I made an imaginary conversation with a mute phone and walked quickly to my car without eating and drove away with my mother.
Her father rang me up that evening and begged my forgiveness as he had guessed what might have transpired between his daughter and me and he wished me well.
I wished him best of luck too, as he really needed dollops of good wishes having an irresponsible daughter like that.
I am NOW happily married to a wonderful girl. My father’s best friend brought this alliance. I got to talk to the girl properly before agreeing to the match.
When I said my favourite line,
“Looks like our parents are ready to fix the wedding date. Are you happy with it?”
I liked her calm reply.
“If that is my father’s decision, then I am happy with it, one hundred percent.”
Story By S. Written by Gulsum Basheer @ talkalittledo
Image by productionpollockco from Pixabay
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Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay